The Lost Art of Car Journeys

Traffic Jam

I guess most people have played “I Spy” and the “Colour Game”. Those are pretty standard fare for car games. But have you ever played “Madam, How Many Horses Do You Have?”, “Blah, Blah, Blah, I Never Pum”, or “Rock, Paper, David Bowie”? Probably not, because these particular inane car games are ones members of my family invented when we were very bored.

I’ll try to explain “Madam, How Many Horses Do You Have?” as an example, as it’s the most coherent of a not very coherent collection, and obviously my enlightening you in this way is Very Important. The idea is, you pose the title question to another player. They then describe how many horses they have (the number is arbitrary), and from the description it must be clear that these are not horses, but some other sort of creature or entity. Other players must then guess what the “horses” really are, in the format “But Madam, those aren’t horses, they’re X”.

For example, a typical game may progress like this:

Player 1: “Madam, how many horses to you have?”

Player 2: “I have six horses, they’re very pale, and have sharp fangs.”

Player 1 or another player: “Madam, those aren’t horses, they’re vampires.”

Player 2: “Oh yes, so they are. Silly me.”

So now, if you’re stuck in traffic on an interminable car journey, you’ll have whole minutes of entertainment available to you.

I’d love to hear about other people’s inane car games.


2 thoughts on “The Lost Art of Car Journeys

  1. I chaperoned an elementary school trip a couple months ago, just across town, and found myself sitting next to a little boy who asked me if I’d ever heard of the game, “I like that car and want it in my shop.” No, can’t say I’ve ever heard of that one, to which the little boy responded it was probably because he’d just made it up. Basically, the rules were that every time you saw a car you liked, you would say, “I like that car and want it in my shop.”

    I went on a week-long road trip with my son a couple years ago and gave him a scavenger hunt sheet to fill out, with the promise that he’d get a toy if he could find everything on it. I think I had a lot more fun with it than he did.

    Liked by 1 person

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